We as humans have a tendency to define each other by using labels and popping others into boxes. Some people might like how they are labelled and embrace it while a label may offend others. We are social animals and like to feel a sense of belonging, This can come from families, the community we grew up in or our social circles. Labelling yourself and self-defining who you are can help you find communities where you can find a sense of belonging but having a label can affect you in a negative way.
We all have our experiences in life and everyone’s is different. I came out in my late teens and it was no real surprise to anyone. I think my family knew before I did 🤷🏼♀️ I was never a girly girl, I was always climbing trees and had mostly male friends. I was on a dog walk with my mum when I told her, and she was like ‘Yeh I know’. I don’t think anyone can understand how much pressure you put on yourself or how courageous you have to be to admit something and verbalise it to others for the first time.
Thankfully my family and friends were (and still are) AMAZING, and not one person got offended by it, not even my 97 year old great gran. So when people say ‘They don’t like it because it’s a generation thing’... it’s a load of twaddle, they are just closed minded.
I did the whole ‘straight’ life during my secondary school years and I had a fair few boyfriends but I knew deep down that it wasn’t right for me. I even used the excuse of being a vegetarian to not kiss one boyfriend as he just ate a beef burger
I had no reason not to come out but you never know how it’ll be received by others, it’s one hell of a thing to try to hide.
It’s not deemed as ‘horsey’ to be gay, and it can almost be frowned upon at times. I don’t throw my sexuality around and I’m not sure how many of you guys know (well you will now).
I do hide it at times, and I try to watch what I say and I find it hard to compliment other women as I fear that they will take things the wrong way.
I can’t say it’s something I’m ‘proud’ of, as it’s not an achievement or an award, it’s not even a choice... BUT I am thankful that I am here today, as there are a lot of people in this world where being their true self is not acceptable and they have lost their lives through suicide, so thank you to everyone who’s supported me along the way of my little gay life!
Being gay isn’t anything to be ashamed of, even though some people have a habit of making you feel that way. I remember people not wanting to get changed in front of me - just in case I fancied them - you know, because when you’re a lesbian or bi you cleeeearly fancy every woman you look at.
I feel incredibly supported and accepted in my little horsey community, but believe me... it’s not easy writing this as I have no idea how it’ll go down BUT it’s all about awareness and making people realise that your sexuality doesn’t define you, it’s not the only thing about you and if people don’t accept you... then that’s their problem and narrow mindedness.
I’m hoping sharing my experience will allow others to live the lives they want, and I want people to know that’s it’s ok to not ‘fit’ in to society.
So there you have it... it’s important to talk and I’m offering myself out there to people if you need someone to talk to, as I understand what it’s like to have a battle in your own mind. 🏳️🌈😘